Wednesday 30 July 2014

Day 37: Past 5 weeks post surgery

Hello hello!

It's past 5 weeks post-op. Whoohoo! And sorry I haven't posted in a while. I fell ill at exactly 5 weeks, and my throat and nose is still a little funky.

Though I feel a little lacking in appetite, I still try to remind myself that I'm not only sick, but also recovering from surgery and my bones still need food to fuel healing. My goodness, this feels a little like the initial days of post-surgery, especially when my throat was so sore that I was afraid to swallow anything at all.

Just some quick updates:

Food - I'm able to eat hawker food now; have tried dry kuay teow noodles and fish/meatball sticky porridge so far. Thank God my stomach has adapted to outside food standards. I'm going to try eating teochew fish porridge for dinner tonight (where you can see the individual grains. And have to chew).

Jaw opening - Finally able to open wider naturally! Now I can fit two finger tips in. So glad! I was beginning to get worried that my recovery was getting really dreary and slow.

I sometimes also feel light headed when I move too fast. I think probably because I haven't been eating too much in the past few days. I hope it's not because I haven't recovered from the blood loss or something. Oh yes, And I noticed that my gums have returned to its usual pink colour. Earlier during recovery, it looked really pale and sickly, don't know why. They're still numb though.

That's as much as my brain can manage to think and write. Till next time when I'm better, and hope everyone is recovering well too. One thing I learnt through this: eat your vitamin C. It's the cheapest and your natural cure-all. *sniff*

Friday 25 July 2014

Day 32: Something stuck in my throat?

I have something stuck in my throat. I don't know what.

I felt it immediately after I choked out a guffaw after dinner. And despite gallons of fluid gulped down, it's still there. It doesn't cause pain all the time, but when I use my throat muscles in a certain manner, I can feel its presence and it's annoying and scary not knowing what it is!

Oh yes, and I also have random spurts of 1/10 pain on certain spots on the chin. It's a very sharp and focused pain, not spread out kind. Usually happens when I smile too much or open my mouth too wide... hurhur. Am I over stressing the muscles or bone joint or something ._.

Sigh. Hope that the throat thing is nothing serious. And that it'll be gone soon! D;

....... this is unrelated to jaw surgery, but I saw this cat sprawled in an awkward position while taking its afternoon siesta, between two ATM machines! So cute I couldn't resist a picture!

Totally exposed O_O

Day 31: Remembering me

It's one month! Yeeessssssss.

I sometimes forget how my face used to look like. I know, sounds a bit exaggerated but it's true! Recalling where my chin used to be or which direction my crossbite was, is not instantaneous. Hur.

It's funny how we get epiphanies or realisations in the unlikeliest of places. Usually in the bathroom, for me. LOL. But I really treasure those moments because time just seem to slow down a bit for you to take a step back and reflect on life.

I was showering last night when I thought of the things that I used to worry about with regards to my less-than-normal appearance. I couldn't help but chuckle at my own thoughts.


S.O.P. for Public Behaviour:
  1. Avoid photographs. Unless bo bian.
  2. Never walk or take photographs with your natural head posture. Try to look down slightly so your chin wouldn't look like it's protruding out, and your face less flat looking. 
  3. Let the camera focus on your eyes instead. Or hair. Anything besides the asymmetry.
  4. Forget about turning your head slightly to hide the facial asymmetry. You never practiced enough to get it right anyway...
  5. Hope that the photographer stands on your right side whenever he/she takes a random photo showing your profile. I think it looks slightly better.. better than nothing riiiight.
  6. Win people over with your character. May they always see your character first, that it outshines your odd facial features. 
  7. Can you please think of how to manage that awkward moment when they comment that your face looks asymmetrical? (Well, I hope that I don't have to prepare this from now on)
  8. Smile more! Don't be so conscious about your jaw misalignment; what they recognise as you, is you!
  9. Be natural. Nicely.
  10. Love yourself more :))

Some of the thoughts sound contradictory, I realised. Heeh. And that most of these thoughts circled around the asymmetry. I can't deny that it did affect me, but neither did it really bother me that much (except in that moment, but I would forget after). Sometimes when I slouch on a chair in public, I suddenly think: Oi, don't chin up so high, not nice la and then realise that I don't have that protruding chin so it doesn't matter anymore haha. It's such a nice feeling! :D

Occasionally, I do miss my au naturel old face, but I'm looking forward to the new! :)) And, thank God for the invention of photography! ....although that's kind of ironic, looking back.

Wednesday 23 July 2014

Day 30: Depression part II

It's almost a month, my (uneven) swelling has come down a lot. My perception tells me that my right side still has about 15% left, and my left side 30%. Okay, it's enough that people don't stare.

But you know, whenever I look in the mirror, I can't help but feel a little down cast  and depressed when I know and see that my face is still rather asymmetrical. I'm not talking about the asymmetries that is known only to the ruler, but those that can be seen by the naked eye. It frustrates me having to know that I did something about it, only to see that it's still not perfect. It's like a thorn in the eye to the perfectionist within me. I hope I'm not deluding myself by saying that it's just the uneven swelling. :|

Up till now, I don't think any doctor or nurse has commented that things are going really well (I mean, aside from the would healing and swell reduction) or that I look good (not that I'm fishing for compliments, don't be mistaken). Why do I keep getting the feeling that things are not going as ideally as it should be?. Maybe I'm just being over sensitive; maybe I'm over thinking. I hope I'm just having another one of those bad days.

Well, on a chirpier note, I can open 1.5 fingers wide now! And I ate kuay chap yesterday! Accompanied by the lou neng and tau kwa. Yum :))

Day 29: Just enough energy!

Hello everybardy!

Reporting on my horse power: it's certainly much better than the earlier weeks of recovery, but I guess I'm still not there yet? I felt really light headed, almost to the point of fainting, when I stood up (as I normally would) a tad too quickly while washing some clothes. Don't know why I had to daftly repeat that 7 times over, each time yielding the same fainting spells. Obviously.

Is my blood that was lost not back yet? So long meh ://

But I went out street walking today! And I could walk in that brisk manner which I normally do. That's an improvement :))

Although it's past midnight now, I'm suddenly in the mood for cleaning. Can't stand the mess that is piling up in my life right now. Literally and figuratively speaking. There's not a better time than now when I have the mental capacity to do it good. :)) Don't we all need to seriously consider whether to keep or throw things... or is it only me?

Monday 21 July 2014

Day 28: Another food entry

Hello hello!

I'm at four weeks now! Wheehee! And I can use a spoon now! Double wheehee! 

To celebrate that (I think, haha), my dad cooked some kuay teow fish soup. Mmmm delish! And since my jaw is beginning to be able to open slightly wider, I'm permanently eating with a spoon now! Ohh.

I need a moment to take in this memorable accomplishment. *teary eyed*

My four-week mark trophy: kuay teow fish soup cut in small pieces, with some potato and veggie bits

Okay, back.

Yesterday, I whipped up some mashed potatoes with an accompanying Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup for dinner for sis and I. To which the house commented: Why so ang moh jiak (eat)? Hahaha but the mashie was really good and like many other food posts, I'm going to share it!

I initially got the idea from this website. However, upon seeing that I had lacked many of the even more "ang moh" ingredients, I decided to adapt it and add my own stuff. Here's a picture of the dinner to first entice you:

Day 27 dinner: Caramalised onion mashed potatoes & Campbell's Cream of Mushroom. YUM.
You'll need:
  • 1 russet potato (about the size of your hand)
  • ½ small onion, finely chopped (about 2 inches in diameter)
  • 30ml fresh milk
  • A knob of butter
  • ¼ tsp salt, or to taste
  • A dash of black pepper, to taste
Serves: 2
(too much and you'll feel juh-laht)

Step 1: Shave and dice the potato into large 1 inch cubes. Place it in a pot of room temperature water very slightly salted. Water level should be just covering the single layer of potatoes comfortably. Watch over the pot and gently stir over medium flame. When the water starts boiling, cover and reduce to small flame for about 15 minutes.

Step 2: Chop onions finely, but not too fine! You should still be able to see each piece in all solidness. Fry the onions till it caramalises.

Step 3: Potatoes should be done by now. Test it and it should be super soft when you poke it with a fork. Strain the water and throw it into a bowl with a knob of butter. Make use of the heat from the potato to melt the butter. Start mashing!

Step 4: Add the caramalised onions. Then, salt and pepper to taste.

Step 5: Once the mash is of a homogeneous mixture (it should be really thick and sticky), add in 30ml of fresh milk, a little at a time.

Step 6: Serve and enjoy your work of art in your most comfortable eating position. And then after that, return to the stove :p

You'll probably need more nutrition (fibre, protein, etc) than just the carbos... This meal was kind of impromptu because I suddenly had to settle my own dinner, so I had to make do with what I had. But, you need a balanced meal, ya.

I've not made mashed potatoes many times,  but this tasted the best so far (even my sis said so!). Do you have an interesting variant of mashies? Let me know! I'll be most glad to try it too! :D

Sunday 20 July 2014

Day 27: Tsh, calories?

You know you're addicted to something when you go: Okay, just one more scoop, and you take another, and another. And another one.

I'm talking about ice cream.

Mom got me two pints of Ben & Jerry's (because it was on offer) and can I say, IT WAS HEAVENLYYY. I'm such a chocolate lover and it was my very first taste of Ben & Jerry's. Thanks mom! :DD


What can I say. I wished I had gotten some ice cream earlier. It's been less than 24 hours since the purchase and I've already finished off half the first pint! Good thing my diet right now is really low calorie, or there'd be war going on between my head and stomach this instant. 

There isn't a better time to freely slurp ice cream than now. I have no need to consider the calories!

Here's to wishing that time stands still for a while... so I can have chocolate ice cream to my fill.

P.s. I still haven't gotten sick of Ensure... probably because it's chocolate flavoured...... OH???

Day 26: Recovery status

Hello again!

Reading through my older posts last night made me really glad of my decision to blog about this whole jaw surgery saga. Memories, in time to come, will all be but distant. And as long as technology doesn't fail, I will always be able to recall these events in my life through this blog down the road.

I also realised that most of what I've been writing about are on food, and not so much on how my recovery is progressing. Heeeee :)) I guess it's because things are getting along fine, and the improvements each day are all rather far and few. But in light of not wanting to forget the minute details of my recovery, and for fellow recovery mates who might need some assurance, I shall sum up on how recovery has been the past month (as much as I can remember).

Pain & Discomfort
Week 1 - Some pain is expected the immediate few days following the surgery. However, since you'll be put under morphine, it shouldn't be so much as that it becomes too hard to handle. In fact, I actually felt more uncomfortable than pain. My discomfort level was about 8-9/10, while the pain level was about 3-4/10.

There were two things which so caused my discomfort - tightness in my jaw and pain while swallowing. Firstly, this tightness in the jaw feels as if as someone put a rigid mold of your jaw (and made it like, 2mm smaller in size) over your face. And that feeling neverrrr goes away. It was especially tight in the mornings, but I would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night because it was just so tight. In all desperation, I'd lift my chin up slightly and look up to relief it. I'm not exactly sure if it's alright to do this, hence I did it really gently. But it did provide some temporary relief.

Secondly, the pain while swallowing feels like your worst sore throat, 5 times over. From what I understand, it is caused by the tube which they inserted down your throat during the surgery, which causes some abrasion I think. Whatever it is, it brought great difficulty in swallowing anything at all during the first 3 days, to the extent where I was afraid to swallow my liquid medications, water, Ensure and soup. Every swallow was a deliberate action, and required much thought and mental preparation. I know, it totally sounds silly to a normal person, but at that time, I really thought: Thank God for the ability to swallow and eat food.

Week 2 - Pain/tightness in the jaw gradually reduced day by day and was almost all gone by the end of the week. The sore throat also began to subside and was totally gone by this week.

Week 3 to 4 - Besides the pain from being unable to eat the foods that you want, you also might experience some from sore teeth due to the rubberbands for traction purposes. Both was equally painful to me.

Nausea
I felt nausea only once on the 2nd night (I think?) in the hospital. Not sure what caused it, but I think the most probably explanation would be side effects from the morphine (though I was off it for quite some time already). Either that, or the meds.

Swelling
Week 1 - The swelling for me was over a rather unusually large area. While most patient's would only be around the lower parts of the face, mine was all the way up to the temples and eyes. Just swell. My eyelids felt like I cried a river the night before, and I literally didn't have a nose bridge.. not that it was high to start with, as with typical asian noses. The surgeon said though unusual, he wasn't worried because the swelling was soft and not hard, which meant that it was just water retention and not blood-filled. The lips were also terribly swollen and there's no way you could close your lips up. I had so much trouble spitting out the mouth gargle because of that, and I had to resort to pushing the liquid to the front of my mouth, and then blowing it out. The end result: bubbles and more bubbles out from my mouth. Way to go.

Week 2 - Swelling subsides the most noticeably during the first three weeks (I feel). At this point, my face was still mighty swollen, enough to earn stares as I walk around in public. I had those cute little chipmunk cheeks. Hurhur.

Week 3 to 4 - Swelling was quite minimal and the differences each day decreases. Towards the end of week 4, I look almost normal, save some residual swelling on my left cheek (it was an uneven swelling for me since the first day). Someone commented that it was really not obvious at all, and couldn't really tell that I went for surgery haha.

Appetite
Week 1 to 2 - Appetite was really poor these two weeks, probably due to the sore throat. In addition, I think my stomach really shrank because I didn't eat much, and even if I tried, my stomach would have (what feels like) gastric pains, whether I ate or not. Thank God that they didn't last longer than a few hours each time though. But I'd say just continue to consume your liquids slowly and work the stomach up. This didn't last beyond the first week for me. I can't stress enough to eat drink up, because if you don't, your body won't have enough fuel to fight bacteria and prevent nasty infections. It's really bad timing to get sick now.

Week 3 to 4 - Appetite starts to increase considerably and the clear soup diet just will not be satisfying enough! Though I was like, filled with liquid, but I was still craving for more food. I think it would be a good time to start introducing blends and ice cream and all that sweet stuff. There's no other time when you eat without thinking twice (and thrice!) about the calories!

Sleep
Week 1 - Sleep is very, very interrupted. Two hours straight of sleep is a gem. Partly due to the nurse constantly waking you for your medications and checking your BP, and partly because of the discomforts that makes you a really light sleeper. I sometime gave up on sleeping and just stare into space.

Week 2 - Sleeping is more continuous, though I still wake up at least once or twice in the night.

Week 3 to 4 - Sleep became my greatest enemy once again, because I couldn't wake up in the mornings. Which is good... means that I'm sleeping well.

Energy Level
Week 1 to 2 - Due to the poor appetite, you won't feel like getting out of bed much. At least I didn't. But I think it's important to try walking around to work your muscles and stamina. The more you move, the more normal you'd feel.

Week 3 to 4 - By the end of the third week, I felt almost normal. Not that I can run a marathon (no high impact activities till 6 weeks post-op ya), but I could most definitely walk around without panting like mad, like I did in week 2. I had a lot of energy to think about food, that's for sure hahaha.

Oral Hygiene
Week 1 to 3 - Don't bother with the toothbrush. Keep it sealed in the packaging and just gargle your way. Make sure you gargle diligently and meticulously with the syringe though. Don't want any infection to set in.

Week 4 - Toothbrush upgrade! But be gentle with the pressure because your gums are utterly useless in detecting any sensations. Brushing is only limited to the outer and some parts of the inner (as much as your mouth is able to open to manoeuvre the brush).

Jaw's Range of Motion
Week 1 to 2 - Can generally say that you can't open at all, because you'll be banded shut and even with just the rubberbands for traction, the muscles are still not strong enough to work against the force of the bands.

Week 3 to 4 - By the end of week 4, I could open wide enough to easily fit one finger, up till the middle joint. It takes a lot of effort and jaw exercises (which I haven't been too diligent with. heh :\ ).

Bite Deviation
From the first week when I had a peek at my teeth alignment, I already noticed that it was not center to center. Not sure if the surgeons could not fit it accurately enough during the surgery, or that my bite shifted a few days after the surgery. For my case, because there was a lot of twisting and moving of my jaws in three planes involved, I can't say much as it's really not an easy work to do, to begin with. But the following weeks after the first, I had rubberbands to pull my bite nearer to the center. I began with about 3mm off center, now it's about 1.5mm off alignment. I don't really expect it to improve much anymore actually, because I think I'm already out of the malleable window period.

I hope the summary has been of help to at least one person out there. I think your outlook on life during the recovery period plays a really big part. I mean, if surgery has already been decided, Recovery is a road inevitable. And since you're already on it, why not make it a memorable experience? For myself, I get by each day looking forward to every meal (maybe not so much at the beginning though haha) and getting all the food I always wanted to eat, but didn't (mostly because of calories LOL). Maybe you should find something to look forward to too and chirp about it!

I will probably compile a series of day-by-day photos tracking the swelling from the beginning sometime later , when I see that my swelling is almost all gone. (sorry I'm kind of sluggish about having to sieve through all the photos at every post, that's why).

Hope all is well with you all, and I'll be posting again soon! Take care!

Friday 18 July 2014

Day 25: Food again

Hello hello!

Yesterday, I had my first appointment with my orthodontist since the surgery. Nothing much really happened there, except that the tightened my braces and took out the surgical hooks. Oh, and he gave me a pack of 'cherry' rubberbands to change everyday, to ensure that my bite doesn't move. Dr Cheng was kind of rough with my mouth though. He pulled my lips out, pressed on my stitches (super ouch), and my teeth really hurt when he was putting on the coloured bands on the brackets, especially on my bottom teeth for some reason. But thank God the wire that was pulling on my inner left cheeks at the back of my mouth is gone! Now I can do my jaw exercises without restraint. Which reminds me, why does it seem like the dental doctors keep telling me to open my mouth wider (when I'm already opening my widest; have compassion!) and that I can chew cut up noodles...? Okay, I get it - just need to work even harder at it. :'/

(Author's note: Just to clarify, I might make Dr Cheng to be a scary orthodontist but really, he's just being efficient about his consultations. He's really professional and experienced, and things get done really fast. If the pain is unbearable, you just need to say ou..ou..ouchhh and he'll very graciously apologise... and then do it quicker so the (inevitable) pain will pass faster. Hahaha I likey my ortho.)

I just weighed myself today and happy to announce that I've gained about 1kg more since my 1.5 weeks post-op all-time low! Which means that I've lost about 2.5kg nett since pre-surgery. I actually hope that I don't put on to my original weight, but I also know that I'm not supposed to use this recovery period as an opportunity to lose weight. Hehehe shhh.

Whatever it is, I'm craving for sweet stuff all the time. If you would like to know, below is a list of what I consume everyday:

  • 1 bowl per meal of blended vegetable soup, or rice porridge with fish fillet bits and carrots
  • 2-3 packets of Ensure Plus
  • 1 big cup of smoothie (either Avo-Nana or Berry-Nana-Oat)

On top of that, I sometimes also include some random drinks that I can't stop thinking about and must. drink. now. kind of stuff, like the recent Milo+milk ice blend. Sometimes, where rare fruit resources are available, I get to try some fruit drinks, like blending cempedak. If you consider what I've been eating drinking thus far, you'd understand when I say that IT WAS GLORIOUS SWEETNESS TO THE TONGUE (Ensure doesn't count because it's not like, naturally sweet). The cempedak fruit my dad bought from Malaysia was so thick and sweet that even adding 40ml of water per 5 seeds (of the flesh only, of course), it still tasted like the real thing! I could actually afford to add more water, but I was just spoilt by taste. :)) I actually took a picture of my 15 seeds + 120ml water + ice blend from the other night. It made 500ml of solid cempedak juice.


I know, it looks like just a yellow blob of.. thing. But that's because it was so thick! It was just awesome, for serious lack of a better word!

To fellow jaw surgery mates, I think this drink is a really good one to try if you're in Malaysia or Singapore or wherever you can get a good cempedak fruit. I imagine that it will really boost your appetite, especially in the early weeks of recovery. And it's not that difficult to make!

Wednesday 16 July 2014

Day 23: Certified to return

Hello there!

Just came back from another review with Dr Wee. I'm given the green light to return to my orthodontist Dr Cheng! I'm rather excited and in anticipation of any comments about my new jaw :))

I'm apparently 'better and better everyday', according to Dr Wee. Uhh, I don't know about that because I see myself everyday, but okay, if you say so :)

Either my braces wire or bracket has some serious grudges with my inner cheeks because its been annoyingly hooking and pulling on the flesh whenever I try practising stretching my jaws. I want to recover quickly so I can eat normally by the time I start work (soon), but this pain I feel is not helping AT ALL. Good thing I'm seeing Dr Cheng, my ortho, tomorrow. Phew!

Let's hope I can start chewing on noodles soon!

Tuesday 15 July 2014

Day 22: I call it, minced eggs.

Hello everybody!

As I type, I'm eating (albeit with great difficulty) scrambled minced eggs.

Lunch was supposed to be pumpkin soup, but since dad wasn't back from his marketing yet, I decided to cook some eggs. I was so (so, so, so, so, so, sooo) deprived of eggs the past three weeks, I couldn't take it anymore!

It was meant to be scrambled eggs, which wasn't so successful seeing it was my first attempt at it. Nonetheless, eggs scrambled are still eggs. I would have slurped it all up in less than a few minutes, if not for this current predicament. My brain obviously forgot that my mouth could only open not more than a finger's width, and I instinctively arrowed the fork into my mouth, only to be halted at the gates. Now I'm just eating the eggs which are finely mooshed by the fork. Visually not very appetizing. Can't taste it very well either. It's too stressful eating with these kinds of dining contraptions! Now, where is my straw..

Eggs before mincing. Something looks wrong with the scrambling :O

Saturday 12 July 2014

Form Follows Function: the reason for orthognathic (jaw) surgery

In architecture, there is a common saying which goes: form follows function. And I'd say that concisely sums up my reasons for jaw surgery.

When I was younger, I didn't have this crossbite and facial asymmetry which I saw in my teens. I guess it was a deformity which developed with time. 

Hmm, deformity... That's a nasty word.

Sure. It is as nasty as it is true. Deformity is an abnormally formed part of the body (quoted from Dictionary), or jaw, in this case. And for me, it caused some functional problems, such as being unable to chew my food properly as I'm supposed to, pain in the jaw joint when I'm chewing on some tough meat or vegetable, and also having chunks of meat and vege (yes, chunks) stuck at this particular spot in between my molars because of the way the molars have grown to be and are only half or less in contact with each other.

Psychologically, the asymmetrical external also affected me to a certain extent. Don't get me wrong, I am not dissatisfied in the way God had made me, but to say that I loved the way I looked, that's not true either. I merely accepted myself the way I was, and the way I am now. I was and I am happy! I'm not one who is so super conscious about looking pretty (I believe in beauty from the heart), but you know, I'd just like to look 'normal'.

So in view of the functional problems I was having, I decided to just do it, once and for all.

Of course, that came with a lot of worries, most of them about how others' opinions. And even up till now, I'm still trying to figure how I should approach the topic. How will I explain to others on the reason for surgery? Will they accept the reason of 'for function'? What if their impression of me changes to think of me as someone who is vain, and think that this is plastic surgery?

If any of you, dear readers, are in or have been in my shoes, I know you get what I mean. And for the majority of people with normal, well-functioning jaws, I also know that it's going to be difficult for you to grasp the reason that it's for function. But really, just listen with an open mind. And be thankful for your well developed jaws!

Jaw surgery is not a small surgery. And it doesn't come cheap too (thank God for insurance). The road to recovery is an arduous journey (and that now, nearing three weeks, just seems endless!). As with every kind of surgery, despite the medical advancements, there are still risks; and one can always expect the unexpected in life. Why would I want to go through so much pain and trouble and time, with money, for beauty sake?

Being brought up in a home with every decision based on christian principles and values, you can be sure that my parents would be the first to object to this surgery if it were just for aesthetics. It took my parents time to be convinced that the physical pain I will go through (if I were to undergo the surgery) is worth a risk to take, after considering both the procedure and surgical cost. When the orthodontist first presented my parents my dental situation and to consider this invasive surgery, they immediately rejected the idea. That was when I was 17. Three years later, after many back and forths from the clinic (to the orthodontist's exasperation, oops), and much prayer, we finally went ahead with the surgery. It was a big decision, but a good one at that.

I can't deny that this surgery gives cosmetic improvements. But, this is only because form follows the function of your jaws. The initial, and final factor, for deciding on surgery is still to correct function of the bite.

For those of you who are contemplating this surgery, I urge you to truthfully and seriously ask yourself what your primary reason is. Functional or aesthetics? For me, it was functional, but it doesn't mean that this surgery can't be done solely for aesthetics. During one of the pre-op consultations, the surgeon asked me if I had any dissatisfaction with my face. I truthfully replied: "Not really. Just my bite.", to which he responded: "Wah, so simple ah?" It's true :)

If you are more focused on the aesthetic results than the functional, I think you shouldn't do it. Reason being, in surgery, it is very difficult to obtain accuracy in alignment during the moving of your jaws (the surgeons can only do their best, minor tweakings are left to the orthodontist). And in cases of moderate to severe asymmetry, post-op residual asymmetry is not ideal, but neither is it uncommon to have. Imagine if you were to enter into the surgery with aesthetics on the top of your list, only to realise that you still have some asymmetry left, you'd feel so unhappy, dissatisfied, and that for all that suffering you experienced post-op was for naught.

However, if you are considering the surgery for the right reasons, I'd say GO FOR IT! It's definitely worthwhile, and better do it when you're young because recovery will be much faster and with less chances of complications. The road to recovery is tough and you may have bouts of temporary depression, but cling on to hope and when it's all over, I think the sufferings will be all but a distant memory. I think I might forget about it actually (that's why I keep this blog!).

As of now at three weeks post-op, if my face were still to have residual asymmetries but with my bite problem solved, I wouldn't really bother having another surgery to fine tune the external aesthetic imperfections. Reason being, it's just not worth all the trouble. Unless, the maxillofacial surgeon advises otherwise. (By the way, my surgeon did clarify that he was not a plastic surgeon, but an oral and maxillofacial surgeon.)

Hope that this has been helpful to at least someone who is considering the surgery and at crossroads. You need a lot of mental preparations and family support before and after surgery, and especially so during your recovery!

Feel free to leave any queries behind and I will be most glad to have them addressed!

Phew! That was a load off my mind. I've been wanting to post this for a long time but couldn't get a clear head to write, but now I have! Thank God.

See you next time!

Day 20: It's called 'traction'


trac·tion

  [trak-shuhn]
noun
   the act of drawing or pulling.


Hello friends! 

I've found the word which accurately describes what's happening to my teeth! It's called traction. Not just 'rubberbands pulling'. Hah. And my molars are hurting once again, needless to say.

During review today, I also found out from the surgeons that my previously asymmetrical jaw was rotated 6mm. That's quite alot I think. From the x-rays, there are like a total of 8 titanium plates in my chin, upper and lower jaws. I thought I didn't look human what with all that metal! Eeek! But, that's what's keeping my jaws together so.. I think I should just remain silent about it. Hurhur.

My swelling has gone down so much. Thank God! I think I look pretty normal because I'm not getting those weird stares from fellow shoppers at the mall. Singaporeans. My appetite is almost normal, save the unusual addiction to Ensure (Dr Wee thinks I'm the first patient to still not be sick of Ensure. Haha! Most can't take it after the first week). I sleep like a pig now; I can't get up in the mornings, just like before! How now, brown cow. 

Dr Wee says I should start stretching my jaw muscles now. But. I. Can't. Not that I don't want to, but it just won't open! I've been practicing to open my widest, but it seems like there's no progress... Maybe I'm doing it wrong  D;  

I need to be able to open wide so my spoon can fit in. Thennnn can I start chewing food so I can work up the muscles. THEN will I be able to fit the toothbrush into my mouth for brushing. Ohhhhh so many things to do! ://

Thursday 10 July 2014

Day 17: My liquid gold

Last night, the refrigerator was stocked up with three punnets of blueberries, which doesn't happen very often. So though I was free to use it, I was a little apprehensive of using them because, well, I'd be drinking it instead of savouring it in each bite. That was like, gulping down liquid gold to me!

But I decided to use them anyway. And I don't regret it because what I made was JUST. SO. GOOD. that I have to share it with you now, or else I wouldn't be able to concentrate on my work :p

Here is another smoothie, especially for you fellow post-op recovery mates, to try - the Blueberry Banana Oatmeal Smoothie! Yum!

You'll need:
  • ½ cup blueberries (if you don't have a cup, it's about a generous handful estimated)
  • ½ medium banana
  • ¼ cup rolled oats, cooked (it's about two heaped tablespoons of raw oats)
  • 150ml fresh cow's milk
  • 1 tablespoon honey
  • 10 cubes of ice
(Note: this makes about 600ml of smoothie)

In the original recipe, they blend the oats raw. But because I'm drinking through a straw, I decided to cook them because I was worried that the ol' blender at home wouldn't be able to pick up the oat bits for slicin'. It's a personal choice. Oh, and don't put in too much bananas! Don't want it to turn into a banana smoothie!

Blend away and be berried in it's glorious sweetness! 


Wednesday 9 July 2014

Day 16: That sweet tooth of mine

Hello everybirdy!

The days of increased comfort are here now! I don't struggle to finish a bowl of soup or a packet of Ensure.

But I now face problems of a different nature now.

My appetite is too good for my mind to handle and control now. Though my stomach may be already full from blended soup, THERE'S ALWAYS SPACE FOR A PACKET OF CHOCOLATE ENSURE. I drink it like there's no tomorrow. It's so goooooooooodd! Rather, there's always space for anything sweet, be it yakult, juice or whatever shakes there are.

Am I not supposed to lose weight over this surgery.....?? Hmm.

Another review with Dr Wee prompted the Return of the Latexes, because my bite was deviating (slightly) again. Sigh. Although, this one no kick leh, because the bands are not the thick ones which Dr Tan used on me last week. WHAT DO YOU WANT, GIRL. No pain, not happy. Pain, not happy. I don't know, I'm not in a right state of mind right now because my stomach is screaming for me to quickly finish this post and EAT. Or drink, for that matter.

On a side note, I made an effort to greet Dr Wee more extrovertedly (in my sense) when I entered the room today. And he remarked: "You seem much happier today leh. Is it less uncomfortable already ah?" HAHA no not really. I was just experimenting with outwardly expressing myself 3 times amplified of what I was feeling inwardly. But I replied: "Ya, because I can eat more food now!" anyway. Heehee. Well, at least he's not commenting on my unhappy countenance anymore :))

My lifeline. It's probably the second carton.

Monday 7 July 2014

Day 14: Can't feel coldness?

Hello friends!

I am crossing the two week mark as I type this. Hoorah!! The journey has been long indeed, but fret not fellow mates! Light is only at the end of the tunnel, and don't lose hope that it's going to be soon!

For those who have read my previous post, I was really depressed yesterday. And thinking about it, I think it was very much a combination of many, many things that were happening at home and mentally which culminated into (a temporary?) depression. But anyway, I always believe that, to some extent, you are what you think you are. Don't keep thinking that you may be having depression, or you might really fall into one. Neither, do you go around thinking that you're immune to depression and mental breakdowns. Rather, be always aware of your emotional and psychological well being, sorting them out, making sure that you don't find yourself in that pit of poor emotional state. Many are familiar with the term YOLO. But I will use it from a biblical perspective, to say that the life we have on this earth is so short. If we don't spend every moment of it with our spiritual and mortal bodies in good health, how will it be glorifying to God and a channel of blessing unto others? Put your focus on things happier, and your outlook on life will be much brighter too!

Now back to what you're here for: the progress report of my jaw. Last night, I was just being cheeky and took a small piece of ice to suck on in my mouth. And to my (slight) horror, only my tongue could feel the temperature of the ice! The roof of my mouth was just totally ignorant of its presence. I mentioned this to Dr Wee during my review today, and he went like: "Oh, it's normal one." Okay, if you say so :'(

I'm also off all latex in my mouth today! YEY! And while Dr Wee was trying to take out the rubberbands, he commented that my mouth was very small. I just couldn't help but exclaim: "I know!!" because that's what I've been called since I was young by my aunt. Of course the small mouth wasn't very apparent from upper primary onwards when my jaws started growing misaligned. But ever since the surgery, I've noticed that trademark look from toddler photos return. It's a good thing :)

I would also like to share a recipe which I found very exciting to try: the Avocado Banana Milkshake! Of course, in the first week following the surgery, you wouldn't have the energy to do anything else other than your full time job of feeding yourself (IKR can't believe it takes 2 hours to drink 200ml of liquid). But when your appetite is better and you start craving for more food, here's a recipe good and nutritious to try!

There are countless recipes on this and I'm by no means a food expert. But here's what I've decided on the best combination of ingredients. You'll need:

  • ½ avocado
  • 1 banana (medium sized, about 15cm long)
  • 150ml fresh cow's milk
  • 50ml orange juice
  • 1 tablespoon honey
  • 10 cubes of ice
(Note: this makes about 600ml of smoothie)

Just plonk all those into the jar and blend away! Any more banana would make the smoothie very medicinal tasting, for some reason. So unless you're a banana fanatic, don't try it. You may prefer to add more ice/water or milk to your liking, especially if you're drinking from a small straw. It makes sucking alot less laborious. Happy blending!



Sunday 6 July 2014

Day 13: Depression finally hits

Depression finally hits me. Everything was going so well, I thought what Dr Wee said about post-surgery depression was a joke.

I can't brush my teeth. I can't eat my favourite foods. Watching my family eat pork and chicken just crushes me. Looks like I'm looking alot at the 'can nots', isn't it? WHY AM I LIKE THIS. This is really not my normal self. I don't know if it's the monthly thing making things worse for me, but I'm definitely feeling downright depressed, irritable and frustrated, for lack of better words.

Saturday 5 July 2014

Day 12: More bands, more pain

Hi friends!

It's another visit to Dr Tan's clinic again this morning, and I'm happy to say that the Dr Tan I knew is back! The lasts two reviews I had with him felt a little depressing. He looked really tired and rarely smiled, and his greetings were barely warm in his usual manner. But today, he greeted my mom and I so cheerfully along the corridor and it really set me in a much better mood. That goes to show that the doctor really does make a difference to the mental well being of the patient during recovery, and more so for such a surgery as this.

If anyone is seeking treatment for dentofacial problems, I'd highly recommend his clinic. He's one of those doctors that really make you feel comfortable and encouraged to go through with such a big decision. The staff there are really warm and friendly as well, but of course, doctors are still humans. They have their emotional highs and lows every now and then :)

Consultation today meant more bands. In simple terms, more bands = more oomph = midline will shift back more and faster. So now I have two bands placed to purposefully create pressure to align my midline aright again. My teeth are hurting :( My molars, to be precise. They don't exactly chomp down with the surface area fully in contact because they are all rotated in all sorts of directions due to my pre-op crossbite. OHHHHH can't wait for this to pass.

Just a thought: how strong exactly are our teeth? I mean with all the force exerted by the rubberbands (and my tongue, while happily exploring the new wonderful incisor structure), will it ever fall out????

Thursday 3 July 2014

Day 10: Appetite is back!

I hit the double digits today! Just reminds me of the same thoughts I had when I crossed my 10th birthday years ago.

For a quick update:
1) My sore throat is totally gone now. I read that by the first week it should have been healed, but I guess everything for my body works a little slow.

2) The bruising on my neck is also totally gone. Actually by about day 8 it was almost all back to normal.

3) The swelling on my neck is almost all gone, save the weird swollen part under my right jaw. Dr Tan said that was the bone, but really? Seems to me more like the lymph node area! I'm gonna have to confirm that again during the next visit.

4) Appetite is alot better than when I first came back from the hospital. I can manage Ensure Plus (200ml), home soup made with love (200ml), lots of water for flushing my teeth each round, and some extra stuff like chicken essence and yakult or vitagen, all within 2 hours. THAT'S A FEAT.


I read that it is also good to be going out for walks and fresh air. I've been trying to get into the groove of it and my dad was most happy to bring me to one of his favourite places - Pierce Reservoir. The weather this afternoon was really great - cloudy sky which wasn't too bright for me and the cool breeze blowing almost constantly. Plus, it's a chance to look far to relax my eyes too! Really relaxing. I'd highly recommend similar places, just be responsible and on guard about the monkeys!

Wednesday 2 July 2014

Day 9: Getting there

Today is a much brighter day for me. The pain and tension is alot less, especially in the jaw and neck region. Well, until Dr Tan put on the new rubberbands for me. According to him, he is just purposefully trying the pull the lower jaw to the new position, instead of letting it shift towards the old.

While waiting at the clinic this morning, I was so thirsty but yet I obviously couldn't be bringing my syringe everywhere to drink water right... So I ended up drinking from the disposable paper cup and guess what! I managed to drink from a cup! Sooooo happy! But it only worked on thinner rimmed cups. I still can't drink from the thick-rimmed cups at home. We'll get there soon enough :)

As of now, I am beginning to be able to open mouth a little. Not sure if it's the force exerted from the rubberbands or my weak jaw muscles, but I can only manage to open about 4mm? Enough to stick my tongue out a little bit only sighh..

I received a copy of the medical procedure summary today as well. But I can't decipher all that jazz. You know, doctor's handwriting. Also because the medical terms are so unfamiliar. I did manage to catch the procedure scribbled and for those who are interested, it reads:

"GA Lefort I, Bilateral Sagittal Split Osteotomy, Genioplasty"

You'd be able to understand those terms once you google them. I don't know how to describe them without pointing the parts of my jaw, sorry about that!

[10pm update: my molars are soooo painful due to the uneven pressure caused by the rubberbands. If only I survive the night... God help me!]

Tuesday 1 July 2014

Day 8: Straw upgrade!

Hello I'm posting again. Time passes so slowly that I feel like I've not posted in a few days.

Today I went out for a walk around the mall and grocery mart. The journey was arduous! I was already panting just walking from the bus stop to the mall, with my heart rate measuring 115 bpm. Lots of patience needed to work my stamina back.


I drank my Yakult through a straw today! Honestly, I didn't fancy the idea of fructose liquid swishing around my teeth when Dr Wee suggested this as part of my diet, BUT I was in such a dire state of need for food that I didn't care anymore. And guess what, it tastes even more delicious when you're in this state of lack. 


I found that since I could close my lips together, I should be able to drink through the Yakult straw now. Although, I have to be super careful not to choke on it because it's really difficult to measure how much water I've sipped because of the air that resides in the mouth. To make things easier, I used cold water to help gauge the amount of water :)


I have this really hard spot under my lower left jaw near the joint. It seems really hard and I'm hoping it's not some early sign of infection or anything. Also, the from upper jaw tissue inside my mouth feels more swollen as it should be (comparing it to the other side of my mouth). I'm slightly worried? Need to check with Dr Tan during my review tomorrow.


Till then!