6 months: Going Strong!

Warm greetings and blessed Christmas to one and all! 

Last Saturday, I popped by the clinic for my 6 months post-op review with the two funny surgeons. So far so good - swellings down, bones strong - and my jaw is as good as new! Thank God for seeing me through this entire ordeal - especially with the food. Since the surgery, I've shared with the people around me how much of a blessing it is to have good appetite, or even be able to swallow for that matter. They are smallest things we take for granted, but the most significant when you lose them, aren't they?

There's still quite a bit of asymmetry left in my jaws, but if you compared how I was then and now, that asymmetry is really almost nothing. During the last visit at 3 months post-op, one of the surgeons briefly proposed a second surgery to correct the asymmetry. I wasn't too keen on it then. When it was brought up formally during this review, I think I was even more disinterested in this follow up surgery. 

Honestly speaking, I can only say that I'm about 90 percent satisfied with how everything turned out (on a general basis); the last 10 percent due to the asymmetry. Being an artist myself, I feel rather peeved when I see imperfections. That being said, I'm not seeking the symmetrical perfections generated by machine, but symmetrical perfections generated by visual compositions - you know what I mean? It's definitely weird to have your face perfectly symmetrical (alien to say the least!). Seeing and knowing that it would be entirely for aesthetic's sake, coupled with the surgery cost and recovery period (your gums are going to get sliced again after all), I was reaaaaaaaallly not keen at all. (although, I MAY CONSIDER if only the cost is not from our pockets haha, but fat hope, girl). Whatever it is, after giving it serious thought, I'm not going to do the second surgery. 

On a side note, has anyone been amazed at how their post-op bite is? It's so amazing it's almost magical! I can't help wonder in shock when I nibble on a biscuit or bite through bread, and the line is clean and cut off in one bite! Even now!  *O*  So proud of my decision to do the surgery *pat pat* :DD

Day 95: 3 Months & 3 Days

Hey there friends!

As you might have read, I'm now into my 3 months post op! O' how sweet it sounds! For those who are still in the early stages of recovery, don't worry mate, you'll get here eventually. Just remember at your stage now, nutrition, nutrition, nutrition!

Okay, I'm feeling a little sheepish at the word nutrition to be honest. I've not exactly been feeding myself healthily since I started work. Initially, I excused myself from the healthier foods because they somehow tend to be harder to chew and I couldn't open my mouth more than two fingers at that point. But now, I really have no excuse at all but I'm still missing my veggies and proteins from my meals...well, mostly the veggies. Hmm...

On an excitable note, I cannot express how amazed I am at being able to bite foods with my front teeth!! The result: a clean break line on the remaining food in your hand/utensil. Sandwiches, noodles, pork, or even just a digestive biscuit - OHHHHHHH I tell you guys, those of you who have perfect teeth will never understand the frustrations and difficulties that we with misaligned teeth/jaw experience. 

I always had this habit of eating an entire strand of noodles at one go, instead of biting them off. Hence I feel peeved whenever someone picks up a few strands of noodles from my bowl, put it in their mouth, and bite the noodles, leaving the ends tainted with their saliva to drop back into the bowl. Worse still, if it was soup. Urghhh all that saliva contaminating my noodle soup. I don't know if this came about because I found it easier to just slurp up the entire strand of noodle at one go because it was too much trouble to try biting them - they would just go through the gaps between my teeth/jaw and not break at all. But for the sake of testing out these not-so-shiny pair of choppers, I did it once and I absolutely loved the feeling of that noodle being cut with one bite. My amazement is beyond words, I tell you. And I hope that those pulling through recovery will be able to cling on to this hope of biting well for once and forever more (until expiry, that is).

I'm just feeling really happy with the way things are now, and hope that they will continue to get better. Dr Wee did ask me if I wanted to do a minor surgery to correct the physical asymmetry on my jaws... Not sure about that, need to consider. Honestly, I look at myself and I think it's fine. But in pictures and from others' lenses, it seems like it's a different story haha.

Just quickly before I end this post, when I saw Dr Wee couple of weeks back, I told him of the weird sensations I've been feeling on the right side of my lip. Whenever my lips brush against it, it sends bolts around the area. Much like touching your legs when it is still in the midst of recovering from a pins-and-needles episode. Also, I feel coldness in a small area around my right jaw whenever I drink cold beverages. His conclusion was that the nerves are trying to reconnect, which is a good thing. So sometimes, they are a bit confused and are sending some sort of wrong signals haha.

Sorry this isn't much of a recovery update. It's just that there's really nothing much major going on now. I still haven't compiled pictures from the earlier week of my recovery. Sigh. Soon, soon.

Day don't-know-what: It's getting along fine

Hey there friends!

I know, it's been eons since I last did any virtual engraving on this site. Since starting work this month, most of my energy has been stored and channeled to my pencil & paper, leaving almost none left for this page, sadly.

But I'm here today anyway! And I'm just going to write whatever comes to mind. So continue to read on, if you are not ill from my blabbering already :)

I'm just about 3 months/12 weeks post-op I think? I'm so tired to count. Well more like, I think how I'm getting on with my daily routine is more important than the numbers, honestly. The most satisfying accomplishment for me is to be able to zip around on my two feet in my usual, brisk style. And I can't remember if I mentioned before or not, but since work started, I've been eating lots (and lots) of delicious food around my work place. It's been a month and I've yet to try allllllllll the foodie places. I'm just waiting for my colleagues to bring me to some place new every other day, just because my directional skills are rather appalling.. Hurhur. Thanks to them, I've tested these pair of choppers to the limit at almost every meal, be it in terms of chewability or eating duration. I can eat almost anything now! Except maybe beef and the super tough meats alike. And food that might cause plaque.

Oh yes, can I just say that the 2 plus months of compulsory liquid-bland-blend-meatless diet has gotten me on a savoury-curry-meat food high now. I could probably eat laksa or curry chicken noodle at every meal, if not for Sanity who holds me back. Like that, who wouldn't feel afraid of the day I might be stuffed with triglycerides! D;

Also to mention, that I had drunk Ensure a couple days ago because I missed a meal and had to get my nutrients somehow. Sadly, the taste was slightly disappointing. It was less sweet than I had remembered. Must be the curry on the tip of my buds! Or the mooncake, maybe. Hmm..

This morning, popped by Dr Cheng's for tightening. My teeth have been slightly rebellious in the past one month and had two gaps on my upper jaw. So, I now have a power chain wrapped around the entire length of my upper jaw. Half a day later, to my surprise, the teeth had already shifted to close up the 1mm gap about halfway. Already! And I didn't feel a thing. No pain. Amazing huh! Plus plus, he said I could be rid of that Cherry rubberband in my mouth for now. For now. Well, I'm still happy! Means one less worry of a short-tongued-unintelligible-speech at work!

My swelling is steadily improving. The asymmetry is not as apparent as before (thank God!). Although, I hope that it's not just me thinking this way hahaha. Whatever it is, I'm happy :) I do have to mention that I've been having some pain between the left cheekbone and jaw, usually half the time while I'm eating. Weird huh. I'll have to ensure that there's nothing wrong the next time I visit Dr Wee couple weeks from now.

But anyway, hoorah! For being able to part my jaws two and a half fingers now! And for finally reaching the end of this post. Wish I had more things to write about, but there isn't much to say really. Life goes on pretty normal from 1 month after. So... Till next time friends! Stay strong and joyful!

Day 48: Goodbye stitches

I'm almost 7 weeks! And my stitches are almost all gone :)) Yey!

Just 2 weeks ago I was starting to get really annoyed with my stitches, especially after eating because I could never differentiate if the 'thing' I felt were the pieces of food stuck or the stitches. And I was afraid to use too much strength to clean as thought that my wounds were not yet healed haha but they're all healed now! 

Aaaaaaand, my jaws can open to easily fit two fingers now! Thanks to the daily Lunch Rush Hour which forced me to eat faster and open my mouth wider to fit bigger chunks of food. Since starting work this month, I've eaten food in so much larger portions and my stomach feels like it's expanding really quickly already haha.

Oh, did I mention that I am off Ensure already? Not that I was sick of it, but that I was forced to :((

(but I still have 2 packets stashed away for the rainy days kekekekeeke :p shhh...)

Although I've been given the green light to chew meat pieces (chicken and the likes), I still can't really do it very easily. Vegetables like xiao bai cai still pose a challenge as my teeth still can't grind the veges.

On a side note, I think I need to drop by the dentist for a long long long overdue appointment. Have been talking about it since last year and it has yet to materialise still! What can I say - I'm a master at procrastination.

Day 37: Past 5 weeks post surgery

Hello hello!

It's past 5 weeks post-op. Whoohoo! And sorry I haven't posted in a while. I fell ill at exactly 5 weeks, and my throat and nose is still a little funky.

Though I feel a little lacking in appetite, I still try to remind myself that I'm not only sick, but also recovering from surgery and my bones still need food to fuel healing. My goodness, this feels a little like the initial days of post-surgery, especially when my throat was so sore that I was afraid to swallow anything at all.

Just some quick updates:

Food - I'm able to eat hawker food now; have tried dry kuay teow noodles and fish/meatball sticky porridge so far. Thank God my stomach has adapted to outside food standards. I'm going to try eating teochew fish porridge for dinner tonight (where you can see the individual grains. And have to chew).

Jaw opening - Finally able to open wider naturally! Now I can fit two finger tips in. So glad! I was beginning to get worried that my recovery was getting really dreary and slow.

I sometimes also feel light headed when I move too fast. I think probably because I haven't been eating too much in the past few days. I hope it's not because I haven't recovered from the blood loss or something. Oh yes, And I noticed that my gums have returned to its usual pink colour. Earlier during recovery, it looked really pale and sickly, don't know why. They're still numb though.

That's as much as my brain can manage to think and write. Till next time when I'm better, and hope everyone is recovering well too. One thing I learnt through this: eat your vitamin C. It's the cheapest and your natural cure-all. *sniff*

Day 32: Something stuck in my throat?

I have something stuck in my throat. I don't know what.

I felt it immediately after I choked out a guffaw after dinner. And despite gallons of fluid gulped down, it's still there. It doesn't cause pain all the time, but when I use my throat muscles in a certain manner, I can feel its presence and it's annoying and scary not knowing what it is!

Oh yes, and I also have random spurts of 1/10 pain on certain spots on the chin. It's a very sharp and focused pain, not spread out kind. Usually happens when I smile too much or open my mouth too wide... hurhur. Am I over stressing the muscles or bone joint or something ._.

Sigh. Hope that the throat thing is nothing serious. And that it'll be gone soon! D;

....... this is unrelated to jaw surgery, but I saw this cat sprawled in an awkward position while taking its afternoon siesta, between two ATM machines! So cute I couldn't resist a picture!

Totally exposed O_O

Day 31: Remembering me

It's one month! Yeeessssssss.

I sometimes forget how my face used to look like. I know, sounds a bit exaggerated but it's true! Recalling where my chin used to be or which direction my crossbite was, is not instantaneous. Hur.

It's funny how we get epiphanies or realisations in the unlikeliest of places. Usually in the bathroom, for me. LOL. But I really treasure those moments because time just seem to slow down a bit for you to take a step back and reflect on life.

I was showering last night when I thought of the things that I used to worry about with regards to my less-than-normal appearance. I couldn't help but chuckle at my own thoughts.

S.O.P. for Public Behaviour:

1. Avoid photographs. Unless bo bian.
2. Never walk or take photographs with your natural head posture. Try to look down slightly so your chin wouldn't look like it's protruding out, and your face less flat looking. 
3. Let the camera focus on your eyes instead. Or hair. Anything besides the asymmetry.
4. Forget about turning your head slightly to hide the facial asymmetry. You never practiced enough to get it right anyway...
5. Hope that the photographer stands on your right side whenever he/she takes a random photo showing your profile. I think it looks slightly better.. better than nothing riiiight.
6. Win people over with your character. May they always see your character first, that it outshines your odd facial features. 
7. Can you please think of how to manage that awkward moment when they comment that your face looks asymmetrical? (Well, I hope that I don't have to prepare this from now on)
8. Smile more! Don't be so conscious about your jaw misalignment; what they recognise as you, is you!
9. Be natural. Nicely.
10. Love yourself more :))

Some of the thoughts sound contradictory, I realised. Heeh. And that most of these thoughts circled around the asymmetry. I can't deny that it did affect me, but neither did it really bother me that much (except in that moment, but I would forget after). Sometimes when I slouch on a chair in public, I suddenly think: Oi, don't chin up so high, not nice la and then realise that I don't have that protruding chin so it doesn't matter anymore haha. It's such a nice feeling! :D

Occasionally, I do miss my au naturel old face, but I'm looking forward to the new! :)) And, thank God for the invention of photography! ....although that's kind of ironic, looking back.

Day 30: Depression part II

It's almost a month, my (uneven) swelling has come down a lot. My perception tells me that my right side still has about 15% left, and my left side 30%. Okay, it's enough that people don't stare.

But you know, whenever I look in the mirror, I can't help but feel a little down cast  and depressed when I know and see that my face is still rather asymmetrical. I'm not talking about the asymmetries that is known only to the ruler, but those that can be seen by the naked eye. It frustrates me having to know that I did something about it, only to see that it's still not perfect. It's like a thorn in the eye to the perfectionist within me. I hope I'm not deluding myself by saying that it's just the uneven swelling. :|

Up till now, I don't think any doctor or nurse has commented that things are going really well (I mean, aside from the would healing and swell reduction) or that I look good (not that I'm fishing for compliments, don't be mistaken). Why do I keep getting the feeling that things are not going as ideally as it should be?. Maybe I'm just being over sensitive; maybe I'm over thinking. I hope I'm just having another one of those bad days.

Well, on a chirpier note, I can open 1.5 fingers wide now! And I ate kuay chap yesterday! Accompanied by the lou neng and tau kwa. Yum :))

Day 29: Just enough energy!

Hello everybardy!

Reporting on my horse power: it's certainly much better than the earlier weeks of recovery, but I guess I'm still not there yet? I felt really light headed, almost to the point of fainting, when I stood up (as I normally would) a tad too quickly while washing some clothes. Don't know why I had to daftly repeat that 7 times over, each time yielding the same fainting spells. Obviously.

Is my blood that was lost not back yet? So long meh ://

But I went out street walking today! And I could walk in that brisk manner which I normally do. That's an improvement :))

Although it's past midnight now, I'm suddenly in the mood for cleaning. Can't stand the mess that is piling up in my life right now. Literally and figuratively speaking. There's not a better time than now when I have the mental capacity to do it good. :)) Don't we all need to seriously consider whether to keep or throw things... or is it only me?

Day 28: Another food entry

Hello hello!

I'm at four weeks now! Wheehee! And I can use a spoon now! Double wheehee! 

To celebrate that (I think, haha), my dad cooked some kuay teow fish soup. Mmmm delish! And since my jaw is beginning to be able to open slightly wider, I'm permanently eating with a spoon now! Ohh.

I need a moment to take in this memorable accomplishment. *teary eyed*

My four-week mark trophy: kuay teow fish soup cut in small pieces, with some potato and veggie bits

Okay, back.

Yesterday, I whipped up some mashed potatoes with an accompanying Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup for dinner for sis and I. To which the house commented: Why so ang moh jiak (eat)? Hahaha but the mashie was really good and like many other food posts, I'm going to share it!

I initially got the idea from this website. However, upon seeing that I had lacked many of the even more "ang moh" ingredients, I decided to adapt it and add my own stuff. Here's a picture of the dinner to first entice you:

Day 27 dinner: Caramalised onion mashed potatoes & Campbell's Cream of Mushroom. YUM.

You'll need:

• 1 russet potato (about the size of your hand)
• ½ small onion, finely chopped (about 2 inches in diameter)
• 30ml fresh milk
• A knob of butter
• ¼ tsp salt, or to taste
• A dash of black pepper, to taste

Serves: 2
(too much and you'll feel juh-laht)

Step 1: Shave and dice the potato into large 1 inch cubes. Place it in a pot of room temperature water very slightly salted. Water level should be just covering the single layer of potatoes comfortably. Watch over the pot and gently stir over medium flame. When the water starts boiling, cover and reduce to small flame for about 15 minutes.

Step 2: Chop onions finely, but not too fine! You should still be able to see each piece in all solidness. Fry the onions till it caramalises.

Step 3: Potatoes should be done by now. Test it and it should be super soft when you poke it with a fork. Strain the water and throw it into a bowl with a knob of butter. Make use of the heat from the potato to melt the butter. Start mashing!

Step 4: Add the caramalised onions. Then, salt and pepper to taste.

Step 5: Once the mash is of a homogeneous mixture (it should be really thick and sticky), add in 30ml of fresh milk, a little at a time.

Step 6: Serve and enjoy your work of art in your most comfortable eating position. And then after that, return to the stove :p

You'll probably need more nutrition (fibre, protein, etc) than just the carbos... This meal was kind of impromptu because I suddenly had to settle my own dinner, so I had to make do with what I had. But, you need a balanced meal, ya.

I've not made mashed potatoes many times,  but this tasted the best so far (even my sis said so!). Do you have an interesting variant of mashies? Let me know! I'll be most glad to try it too! :D

Day 27: Tsh, calories?

You know you're addicted to something when you go: Okay, just one more scoop, and you take another, and another. And another one.

I'm talking about ice cream.

Mom got me two pints of Ben & Jerry's (because it was on offer) and can I say, IT WAS HEAVENLYYY. I'm such a chocolate lover and it was my very first taste of Ben & Jerry's. Thanks mom! :DD

What can I say. I wished I had gotten some ice cream earlier. It's been less than 24 hours since the purchase and I've already finished off half the first pint! Good thing my diet right now is really low calorie, or there'd be war going on between my head and stomach this instant. 

There isn't a better time to freely slurp ice cream than now. I have no need to consider the calories!

Here's to wishing that time stands still for a while... so I can have chocolate ice cream to my fill.

P.s. I still haven't gotten sick of Ensure... probably because it's chocolate flavoured...... OH???

Day 26: Recovery status

Hello again!

Reading through my older posts last night made me really glad of my decision to blog about this whole jaw surgery saga. Memories, in time to come, will all be but distant. And as long as technology doesn't fail, I will always be able to recall these events in my life through this blog down the road.

I also realised that most of what I've been writing about are on food, and not so much on how my recovery is progressing. Heeeee :)) I guess it's because things are getting along fine, and the improvements each day are all rather far and few. But in light of not wanting to forget the minute details of my recovery, and for fellow recovery mates who might need some assurance, I shall sum up on how recovery has been the past month (as much as I can remember).

Pain & Discomfort
Week 1 - Some pain is expected the immediate few days following the surgery. However, since you'll be put under morphine, it shouldn't be so much as that it becomes too hard to handle. In fact, I actually felt more uncomfortable than pain. My discomfort level was about 8-9/10, while the pain level was about 3-4/10.

There were two things which so caused my discomfort - tightness in my jaw and pain while swallowing. Firstly, this tightness in the jaw feels as if as someone put a rigid mold of your jaw (and made it like, 2mm smaller in size) over your face. And that feeling neverrrr goes away. It was especially tight in the mornings, but I would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night because it was just so tight. In all desperation, I'd lift my chin up slightly and look up to relief it. I'm not exactly sure if it's alright to do this, hence I did it really gently. But it did provide some temporary relief.

Secondly, the pain while swallowing feels like your worst sore throat, 5 times over. From what I understand, it is caused by the tube which they inserted down your throat during the surgery, which causes some abrasion I think. Whatever it is, it brought great difficulty in swallowing anything at all during the first 3 days, to the extent where I was afraid to swallow my liquid medications, water, Ensure and soup. Every swallow was a deliberate action, and required much thought and mental preparation. I know, it totally sounds silly to a normal person, but at that time, I really thought: Thank God for the ability to swallow and eat food.

Week 2 - Pain/tightness in the jaw gradually reduced day by day and was almost all gone by the end of the week. The sore throat also began to subside and was totally gone by this week.

Week 3 to 4 - Besides the pain from being unable to eat the foods that you want, you also might experience some from sore teeth due to the rubberbands for traction purposes. Both was equally painful to me.

Nausea
I felt nausea only once on the 2nd night (I think?) in the hospital. Not sure what caused it, but I think the most probably explanation would be side effects from the morphine (though I was off it for quite some time already). Either that, or the meds.

Swelling
Week 1 - The swelling for me was over a rather unusually large area. While most patient's would only be around the lower parts of the face, mine was all the way up to the temples and eyes. Just swell. My eyelids felt like I cried a river the night before, and I literally didn't have a nose bridge.. not that it was high to start with, as with typical asian noses. The surgeon said though unusual, he wasn't worried because the swelling was soft and not hard, which meant that it was just water retention and not blood-filled. The lips were also terribly swollen and there's no way you could close your lips up. I had so much trouble spitting out the mouth gargle because of that, and I had to resort to pushing the liquid to the front of my mouth, and then blowing it out. The end result: bubbles and more bubbles out from my mouth. Way to go.

Week 2 - Swelling subsides the most noticeably during the first three weeks (I feel). At this point, my face was still mighty swollen, enough to earn stares as I walk around in public. I had those cute little chipmunk cheeks. Hurhur.

Week 3 to 4 - Swelling was quite minimal and the differences each day decreases. Towards the end of week 4, I look almost normal, save some residual swelling on my left cheek (it was an uneven swelling for me since the first day). Someone commented that it was really not obvious at all, and couldn't really tell that I went for surgery haha.

Appetite
Week 1 to 2 - Appetite was really poor these two weeks, probably due to the sore throat. In addition, I think my stomach really shrank because I didn't eat much, and even if I tried, my stomach would have (what feels like) gastric pains, whether I ate or not. Thank God that they didn't last longer than a few hours each time though. But I'd say just continue to consume your liquids slowly and work the stomach up. This didn't last beyond the first week for me. I can't stress enough to eat drink up, because if you don't, your body won't have enough fuel to fight bacteria and prevent nasty infections. It's really bad timing to get sick now.

Week 3 to 4 - Appetite starts to increase considerably and the clear soup diet just will not be satisfying enough! Though I was like, filled with liquid, but I was still craving for more food. I think it would be a good time to start introducing blends and ice cream and all that sweet stuff. There's no other time when you eat without thinking twice (and thrice!) about the calories!

Sleep
Week 1 - Sleep is very, very interrupted. Two hours straight of sleep is a gem. Partly due to the nurse constantly waking you for your medications and checking your BP, and partly because of the discomforts that makes you a really light sleeper. I sometime gave up on sleeping and just stare into space.

Week 2 - Sleeping is more continuous, though I still wake up at least once or twice in the night.

Week 3 to 4 - Sleep became my greatest enemy once again, because I couldn't wake up in the mornings. Which is good... means that I'm sleeping well.

Energy Level
Week 1 to 2 - Due to the poor appetite, you won't feel like getting out of bed much. At least I didn't. But I think it's important to try walking around to work your muscles and stamina. The more you move, the more normal you'd feel.

Week 3 to 4 - By the end of the third week, I felt almost normal. Not that I can run a marathon (no high impact activities till 6 weeks post-op ya), but I could most definitely walk around without panting like mad, like I did in week 2. I had a lot of energy to think about food, that's for sure hahaha.

Oral Hygiene
Week 1 to 3 - Don't bother with the toothbrush. Keep it sealed in the packaging and just gargle your way. Make sure you gargle diligently and meticulously with the syringe though. Don't want any infection to set in.

Week 4 - Toothbrush upgrade! But be gentle with the pressure because your gums are utterly useless in detecting any sensations. Brushing is only limited to the outer and some parts of the inner (as much as your mouth is able to open to manoeuvre the brush).

Jaw's Range of Motion
Week 1 to 2 - Can generally say that you can't open at all, because you'll be banded shut and even with just the rubberbands for traction, the muscles are still not strong enough to work against the force of the bands.

Week 3 to 4 - By the end of week 4, I could open wide enough to easily fit one finger, up till the middle joint. It takes a lot of effort and jaw exercises (which I haven't been too diligent with. heh :\ ).

Bite Deviation
From the first week when I had a peek at my teeth alignment, I already noticed that it was not center to center. Not sure if the surgeons could not fit it accurately enough during the surgery, or that my bite shifted a few days after the surgery. For my case, because there was a lot of twisting and moving of my jaws in three planes involved, I can't say much as it's really not an easy work to do, to begin with. But the following weeks after the first, I had rubberbands to pull my bite nearer to the center. I began with about 3mm off center, now it's about 1.5mm off alignment. I don't really expect it to improve much anymore actually, because I think I'm already out of the malleable window period.

I hope the summary has been of help to at least one person out there. I think your outlook on life during the recovery period plays a really big part. I mean, if surgery has already been decided, Recovery is a road inevitable. And since you're already on it, why not make it a memorable experience? For myself, I get by each day looking forward to every meal (maybe not so much at the beginning though haha) and getting all the food I always wanted to eat, but didn't (mostly because of calories LOL). Maybe you should find something to look forward to too and chirp about it!

I will probably compile a series of day-by-day photos tracking the swelling from the beginning sometime later , when I see that my swelling is almost all gone. (sorry I'm kind of sluggish about having to sieve through all the photos at every post, that's why).

Hope all is well with you all, and I'll be posting again soon! Take care!

Day 25: Food again

Hello hello!

Yesterday, I had my first appointment with my orthodontist since the surgery. Nothing much really happened there, except that the tightened my braces and took out the surgical hooks. Oh, and he gave me a pack of 'cherry' rubberbands to change everyday, to ensure that my bite doesn't move. Dr Cheng was kind of rough with my mouth though. He pulled my lips out, pressed on my stitches (super ouch), and my teeth really hurt when he was putting on the coloured bands on the brackets, especially on my bottom teeth for some reason. But thank God the wire that was pulling on my inner left cheeks at the back of my mouth is gone! Now I can do my jaw exercises without restraint. Which reminds me, why does it seem like the dental doctors keep telling me to open my mouth wider (when I'm already opening my widest; have compassion!) and that I can chew cut up noodles...? Okay, I get it - just need to work even harder at it. :'/

(Author's note: Just to clarify, I might make Dr Cheng to be a scary orthodontist but really, he's just being efficient about his consultations. He's really professional and experienced, and things get done really fast. If the pain is unbearable, you just need to say ou..ou..ouchhh and he'll very graciously apologise... and then do it quicker so the (inevitable) pain will pass faster. Hahaha I likey my ortho.)

I just weighed myself today and happy to announce that I've gained about 1kg more since my 1.5 weeks post-op all-time low! Which means that I've lost about 2.5kg nett since pre-surgery. I actually hope that I don't put on to my original weight, but I also know that I'm not supposed to use this recovery period as an opportunity to lose weight. Hehehe shhh.

Whatever it is, I'm craving for sweet stuff all the time. If you would like to know, below is a list of what I consume everyday:

• 1 bowl per meal of blended vegetable soup, or rice porridge with fish fillet bits and carrots
• 2-3 packets of Ensure Plus
• 1 big cup of smoothie (either Avo-Nana or Berry-Nana-Oat)

On top of that, I sometimes also include some random drinks that I can't stop thinking about and must. drink. now. kind of stuff, like the recent Milo+milk ice blend. Sometimes, where rare fruit resources are available, I get to try some fruit drinks, like blending cempedak. If you consider what I've been eating drinking thus far, you'd understand when I say that IT WAS GLORIOUS SWEETNESS TO THE TONGUE (Ensure doesn't count because it's not like, naturally sweet). The cempedak fruit my dad bought from Malaysia was so thick and sweet that even adding 40ml of water per 5 seeds (of the flesh only, of course), it still tasted like the real thing! I could actually afford to add more water, but I was just spoilt by taste. :)) I actually took a picture of my 15 seeds + 120ml water + ice blend from the other night. It made 500ml of solid cempedak juice.

I know, it looks like just a yellow blob of.. thing. But that's because it was so thick! It was just awesome, for serious lack of a better word!

To fellow jaw surgery mates, I think this drink is a really good one to try if you're in Malaysia or Singapore or wherever you can get a good cempedak fruit. I imagine that it will really boost your appetite, especially in the early weeks of recovery. And it's not that difficult to make!

Day 23: Certified to return

Hello there!

Just came back from another review with Dr Wee. I'm given the green light to return to my orthodontist Dr Cheng! I'm rather excited and in anticipation of any comments about my new jaw :))

I'm apparently 'better and better everyday', according to Dr Wee. Uhh, I don't know about that because I see myself everyday, but okay, if you say so :)

Either my braces wire or bracket has some serious grudges with my inner cheeks because its been annoyingly hooking and pulling on the flesh whenever I try practising stretching my jaws. I want to recover quickly so I can eat normally by the time I start work (soon), but this pain I feel is not helping AT ALL. Good thing I'm seeing Dr Cheng, my ortho, tomorrow. Phew!

Let's hope I can start chewing on noodles soon!

Day 22: I call it, minced eggs.

Hello everybody!

As I type, I'm eating (albeit with great difficulty) scrambled minced eggs.

Lunch was supposed to be pumpkin soup, but since dad wasn't back from his marketing yet, I decided to cook some eggs. I was so (so, so, so, so, so, sooo) deprived of eggs the past three weeks, I couldn't take it anymore!

It was meant to be scrambled eggs, which wasn't so successful seeing it was my first attempt at it. Nonetheless, eggs scrambled are still eggs. I would have slurped it all up in less than a few minutes, if not for this current predicament. My brain obviously forgot that my mouth could only open not more than a finger's width, and I instinctively arrowed the fork into my mouth, only to be halted at the gates. Now I'm just eating the eggs which are finely mooshed by the fork. Visually not very appetizing. Can't taste it very well either. It's too stressful eating with these kinds of dining contraptions! Now, where is my straw..

Eggs before mincing. Something looks wrong with the scrambling :O

Form Follows Function: the reason for orthognathic (jaw) surgery

In architecture, there is a common saying which goes: form follows function. And I'd say that concisely sums up my reasons for jaw surgery.

When I was younger, I didn't have this crossbite and facial asymmetry which I saw in my teens. I guess it was a deformity which developed with time. 

Hmm, deformity... That's a nasty word.

Sure. It is as nasty as it is true. Deformity is an abnormally formed part of the body (quoted from Dictionary), or jaw, in this case. And for me, it caused some functional problems, such as being unable to chew my food properly as I'm supposed to, pain in the jaw joint when I'm chewing on some tough meat or vegetable, and also having chunks of meat and vege (yes, chunks) stuck at this particular spot in between my molars because of the way the molars have grown to be and are only half or less in contact with each other.

Psychologically, the asymmetrical external also affected me to a certain extent. Don't get me wrong, I am not dissatisfied in the way God had made me, but to say that I loved the way I looked, that's not true either. I merely accepted myself the way I was, and the way I am now. I was and I am happy! I'm not one who is so super conscious about looking pretty (I believe in beauty from the heart), but you know, I'd just like to look 'normal'.

So in view of the functional problems I was having, I decided to just do it, once and for all.

Of course, that came with a lot of worries, most of them about how others' opinions. And even up till now, I'm still trying to figure how I should approach the topic. How will I explain to others on the reason for surgery? Will they accept the reason of 'for function'? What if their impression of me changes to think of me as someone who is vain, and think that this is plastic surgery?

If any of you, dear readers, are in or have been in my shoes, I know you get what I mean. And for the majority of people with normal, well-functioning jaws, I also know that it's going to be difficult for you to grasp the reason that it's for function. But really, just listen with an open mind. And be thankful for your well developed jaws!

Jaw surgery is not a small surgery. And it doesn't come cheap too (thank God for insurance). The road to recovery is an arduous journey (and that now, nearing three weeks, just seems endless!). As with every kind of surgery, despite the medical advancements, there are still risks; and one can always expect the unexpected in life. Why would I want to go through so much pain and trouble and time, with money, for beauty sake?

Being brought up in a home with every decision based on christian principles and values, you can be sure that my parents would be the first to object to this surgery if it were just for aesthetics. It took my parents time to be convinced that the physical pain I will go through (if I were to undergo the surgery) is worth a risk to take, after considering both the procedure and surgical cost. When the orthodontist first presented my parents my dental situation and to consider this invasive surgery, they immediately rejected the idea. That was when I was 17. Three years later, after many back and forths from the clinic (to the orthodontist's exasperation, oops), and much prayer, we finally went ahead with the surgery. It was a big decision, but a good one at that.

I can't deny that this surgery gives cosmetic improvements. But, this is only because form follows the function of your jaws. The initial, and final factor, for deciding on surgery is still to correct function of the bite.

For those of you who are contemplating this surgery, I urge you to truthfully and seriously ask yourself what your primary reason is. Functional or aesthetics? For me, it was functional, but it doesn't mean that this surgery can't be done solely for aesthetics. During one of the pre-op consultations, the surgeon asked me if I had any dissatisfaction with my face. I truthfully replied: "Not really. Just my bite.", to which he responded: "Wah, so simple ah?" It's true :)

If you are more focused on the aesthetic results than the functional, I think you shouldn't do it. Reason being, in surgery, it is very difficult to obtain accuracy in alignment during the moving of your jaws (the surgeons can only do their best, minor tweakings are left to the orthodontist). And in cases of moderate to severe asymmetry, post-op residual asymmetry is not ideal, but neither is it uncommon to have. Imagine if you were to enter into the surgery with aesthetics on the top of your list, only to realise that you still have some asymmetry left, you'd feel so unhappy, dissatisfied, and that for all that suffering you experienced post-op was for naught.

However, if you are considering the surgery for the right reasons, I'd say GO FOR IT! It's definitely worthwhile, and better do it when you're young because recovery will be much faster and with less chances of complications. The road to recovery is tough and you may have bouts of temporary depression, but cling on to hope and when it's all over, I think the sufferings will be all but a distant memory. I think I might forget about it actually (that's why I keep this blog!).

As of now at three weeks post-op, if my face were still to have residual asymmetries but with my bite problem solved, I wouldn't really bother having another surgery to fine tune the external aesthetic imperfections. Reason being, it's just not worth all the trouble. Unless, the maxillofacial surgeon advises otherwise. (By the way, my surgeon did clarify that he was not a plastic surgeon, but an oral and maxillofacial surgeon.)

Hope that this has been helpful to at least someone who is considering the surgery and at crossroads. You need a lot of mental preparations and family support before and after surgery, and especially so during your recovery!

Feel free to leave any queries behind and I will be most glad to have them addressed!

Phew! That was a load off my mind. I've been wanting to post this for a long time but couldn't get a clear head to write, but now I have! Thank God.

See you next time!

Day 20: It's called 'traction'

trac·tion

  [trak-shuhn]

noun

   the act of drawing or pulling.

Hello friends! 

I've found the word which accurately describes what's happening to my teeth! It's called traction. Not just 'rubberbands pulling'. Hah. And my molars are hurting once again, needless to say.

During review today, I also found out from the surgeons that my previously asymmetrical jaw was rotated 6mm. That's quite alot I think. From the x-rays, there are like a total of 8 titanium plates in my chin, upper and lower jaws. I thought I didn't look human what with all that metal! Eeek! But, that's what's keeping my jaws together so.. I think I should just remain silent about it. Hurhur.

My swelling has gone down so much. Thank God! I think I look pretty normal because I'm not getting those weird stares from fellow shoppers at the mall. Singaporeans. My appetite is almost normal, save the unusual addiction to Ensure (Dr Wee thinks I'm the first patient to still not be sick of Ensure. Haha! Most can't take it after the first week). I sleep like a pig now; I can't get up in the mornings, just like before! How now, brown cow. 

Dr Wee says I should start stretching my jaw muscles now. But. I. Can't. Not that I don't want to, but it just won't open! I've been practicing to open my widest, but it seems like there's no progress... Maybe I'm doing it wrong  D;  

I need to be able to open wide so my spoon can fit in. Thennnn can I start chewing food so I can work up the muscles. THEN will I be able to fit the toothbrush into my mouth for brushing. Ohhhhh so many things to do! ://

Day 17: My liquid gold

Last night, the refrigerator was stocked up with three punnets of blueberries, which doesn't happen very often. So though I was free to use it, I was a little apprehensive of using them because, well, I'd be drinking it instead of savouring it in each bite. That was like, gulping down liquid gold to me!

But I decided to use them anyway. And I don't regret it because what I made was JUST. SO. GOOD. that I have to share it with you now, or else I wouldn't be able to concentrate on my work :p

Here is another smoothie, especially for you fellow post-op recovery mates, to try - the Blueberry Banana Oatmeal Smoothie! Yum!

You'll need:

• ½ cup blueberries (if you don't have a cup, it's about a generous handful estimated)
• ½ medium banana
• ¼ cup rolled oats, cooked (it's about two heaped tablespoons of raw oats)
• 150ml fresh cow's milk
• 1 tablespoon honey
• 10 cubes of ice

(Note: this makes about 600ml of smoothie)

In the original recipe, they blend the oats raw. But because I'm drinking through a straw, I decided to cook them because I was worried that the ol' blender at home wouldn't be able to pick up the oat bits for slicin'. It's a personal choice. Oh, and don't put in too much bananas! Don't want it to turn into a banana smoothie!

Blend away and be berried in it's glorious sweetness! 

Day 16: That sweet tooth of mine

Hello everybirdy!

The days of increased comfort are here now! I don't struggle to finish a bowl of soup or a packet of Ensure.

But I now face problems of a different nature now.

My appetite is too good for my mind to handle and control now. Though my stomach may be already full from blended soup, THERE'S ALWAYS SPACE FOR A PACKET OF CHOCOLATE ENSURE. I drink it like there's no tomorrow. It's so goooooooooodd! Rather, there's always space for anything sweet, be it yakult, juice or whatever shakes there are.

Am I not supposed to lose weight over this surgery.....?? Hmm.

Another review with Dr Wee prompted the Return of the Latexes, because my bite was deviating (slightly) again. Sigh. Although, this one no kick leh, because the bands are not the thick ones which Dr Tan used on me last week. WHAT DO YOU WANT, GIRL. No pain, not happy. Pain, not happy. I don't know, I'm not in a right state of mind right now because my stomach is screaming for me to quickly finish this post and EAT. Or drink, for that matter.

On a side note, I made an effort to greet Dr Wee more extrovertedly (in my sense) when I entered the room today. And he remarked: "You seem much happier today leh. Is it less uncomfortable already ah?" HAHA no not really. I was just experimenting with outwardly expressing myself 3 times amplified of what I was feeling inwardly. But I replied: "Ya, because I can eat more food now!" anyway. Heehee. Well, at least he's not commenting on my unhappy countenance anymore :))

My lifeline. It's probably the second carton.

Day 14: Can't feel coldness?

Hello friends!

I am crossing the two week mark as I type this. Hoorah!! The journey has been long indeed, but fret not fellow mates! Light is only at the end of the tunnel, and don't lose hope that it's going to be soon!

For those who have read my previous post, I was really depressed yesterday. And thinking about it, I think it was very much a combination of many, many things that were happening at home and mentally which culminated into (a temporary?) depression. But anyway, I always believe that, to some extent, you are what you think you are. Don't keep thinking that you may be having depression, or you might really fall into one. Neither, do you go around thinking that you're immune to depression and mental breakdowns. Rather, be always aware of your emotional and psychological well being, sorting them out, making sure that you don't find yourself in that pit of poor emotional state. Many are familiar with the term YOLO. But I will use it from a biblical perspective, to say that the life we have on this earth is so short. If we don't spend every moment of it with our spiritual and mortal bodies in good health, how will it be glorifying to God and a channel of blessing unto others? Put your focus on things happier, and your outlook on life will be much brighter too!

Now back to what you're here for: the progress report of my jaw. Last night, I was just being cheeky and took a small piece of ice to suck on in my mouth. And to my (slight) horror, only my tongue could feel the temperature of the ice! The roof of my mouth was just totally ignorant of its presence. I mentioned this to Dr Wee during my review today, and he went like: "Oh, it's normal one." Okay, if you say so :'(

I'm also off all latex in my mouth today! YEY! And while Dr Wee was trying to take out the rubberbands, he commented that my mouth was very small. I just couldn't help but exclaim: "I know!!" because that's what I've been called since I was young by my aunt. Of course the small mouth wasn't very apparent from upper primary onwards when my jaws started growing misaligned. But ever since the surgery, I've noticed that trademark look from toddler photos return. It's a good thing :)

I would also like to share a recipe which I found very exciting to try: the Avocado Banana Milkshake! Of course, in the first week following the surgery, you wouldn't have the energy to do anything else other than your full time job of feeding yourself (IKR can't believe it takes 2 hours to drink 200ml of liquid). But when your appetite is better and you start craving for more food, here's a recipe good and nutritious to try!

There are countless recipes on this and I'm by no means a food expert. But here's what I've decided on the best combination of ingredients. You'll need:

• ½ avocado
• 1 banana (medium sized, about 15cm long)
• 150ml fresh cow's milk
• 50ml orange juice
• 1 tablespoon honey
• 10 cubes of ice

(Note: this makes about 600ml of smoothie)

Just plonk all those into the jar and blend away! Any more banana would make the smoothie very medicinal tasting, for some reason. So unless you're a banana fanatic, don't try it. You may prefer to add more ice/water or milk to your liking, especially if you're drinking from a small straw. It makes sucking alot less laborious. Happy blending!

Day 13: Depression finally hits

Depression finally hits me. Everything was going so well, I thought what Dr Wee said about post-surgery depression was a joke.

I can't brush my teeth. I can't eat my favourite foods. Watching my family eat pork and chicken just crushes me. Looks like I'm looking alot at the 'can nots', isn't it? WHY AM I LIKE THIS. This is really not my normal self. I don't know if it's the monthly thing making things worse for me, but I'm definitely feeling downright depressed, irritable and frustrated, for lack of better words.

Day 12: More bands, more pain

Hi friends!

It's another visit to Dr Tan's clinic again this morning, and I'm happy to say that the Dr Tan I knew is back! The lasts two reviews I had with him felt a little depressing. He looked really tired and rarely smiled, and his greetings were barely warm in his usual manner. But today, he greeted my mom and I so cheerfully along the corridor and it really set me in a much better mood. That goes to show that the doctor really does make a difference to the mental well being of the patient during recovery, and more so for such a surgery as this.

If anyone is seeking treatment for dentofacial problems, I'd highly recommend his clinic. He's one of those doctors that really make you feel comfortable and encouraged to go through with such a big decision. The staff there are really warm and friendly as well, but of course, doctors are still humans. They have their emotional highs and lows every now and then :)

Consultation today meant more bands. In simple terms, more bands = more oomph = midline will shift back more and faster. So now I have two bands placed to purposefully create pressure to align my midline aright again. My teeth are hurting :( My molars, to be precise. They don't exactly chomp down with the surface area fully in contact because they are all rotated in all sorts of directions due to my pre-op crossbite. OHHHHH can't wait for this to pass.

Just a thought: how strong exactly are our teeth? I mean with all the force exerted by the rubberbands (and my tongue, while happily exploring the new wonderful incisor structure), will it ever fall out????

Day 10: Appetite is back!

I hit the double digits today! Just reminds me of the same thoughts I had when I crossed my 10th birthday years ago.

For a quick update:
1) My sore throat is totally gone now. I read that by the first week it should have been healed, but I guess everything for my body works a little slow.

2) The bruising on my neck is also totally gone. Actually by about day 8 it was almost all back to normal.

3) The swelling on my neck is almost all gone, save the weird swollen part under my right jaw. Dr Tan said that was the bone, but really? Seems to me more like the lymph node area! I'm gonna have to confirm that again during the next visit.

4) Appetite is alot better than when I first came back from the hospital. I can manage Ensure Plus (200ml), home soup made with love (200ml), lots of water for flushing my teeth each round, and some extra stuff like chicken essence and yakult or vitagen, all within 2 hours. THAT'S A FEAT.


I read that it is also good to be going out for walks and fresh air. I've been trying to get into the groove of it and my dad was most happy to bring me to one of his favourite places - Pierce Reservoir. The weather this afternoon was really great - cloudy sky which wasn't too bright for me and the cool breeze blowing almost constantly. Plus, it's a chance to look far to relax my eyes too! Really relaxing. I'd highly recommend similar places, just be responsible and on guard about the monkeys!

Day 9: Getting there

Today is a much brighter day for me. The pain and tension is alot less, especially in the jaw and neck region. Well, until Dr Tan put on the new rubberbands for me. According to him, he is just purposefully trying the pull the lower jaw to the new position, instead of letting it shift towards the old.

While waiting at the clinic this morning, I was so thirsty but yet I obviously couldn't be bringing my syringe everywhere to drink water right... So I ended up drinking from the disposable paper cup and guess what! I managed to drink from a cup! Sooooo happy! But it only worked on thinner rimmed cups. I still can't drink from the thick-rimmed cups at home. We'll get there soon enough :)

As of now, I am beginning to be able to open mouth a little. Not sure if it's the force exerted from the rubberbands or my weak jaw muscles, but I can only manage to open about 4mm? Enough to stick my tongue out a little bit only sighh..

I received a copy of the medical procedure summary today as well. But I can't decipher all that jazz. You know, doctor's handwriting. Also because the medical terms are so unfamiliar. I did manage to catch the procedure scribbled and for those who are interested, it reads:

"GA Lefort I, Bilateral Sagittal Split Osteotomy, Genioplasty"

You'd be able to understand those terms once you google them. I don't know how to describe them without pointing the parts of my jaw, sorry about that!

[10pm update: my molars are soooo painful due to the uneven pressure caused by the rubberbands. If only I survive the night... God help me!]

Day 8: Straw upgrade!

Hello I'm posting again. Time passes so slowly that I feel like I've not posted in a few days.

Today I went out for a walk around the mall and grocery mart. The journey was arduous! I was already panting just walking from the bus stop to the mall, with my heart rate measuring 115 bpm. Lots of patience needed to work my stamina back.

I drank my Yakult through a straw today! Honestly, I didn't fancy the idea of fructose liquid swishing around my teeth when Dr Wee suggested this as part of my diet, BUT I was in such a dire state of need for food that I didn't care anymore. And guess what, it tastes even more delicious when you're in this state of lack. 

I found that since I could close my lips together, I should be able to drink through the Yakult straw now. Although, I have to be super careful not to choke on it because it's really difficult to measure how much water I've sipped because of the air that resides in the mouth. To make things easier, I used cold water to help gauge the amount of water :)

I have this really hard spot under my lower left jaw near the joint. It seems really hard and I'm hoping it's not some early sign of infection or anything. Also, the from upper jaw tissue inside my mouth feels more swollen as it should be (comparing it to the other side of my mouth). I'm slightly worried? Need to check with Dr Tan during my review tomorrow.

Till then!

One Week On & In Retrospect

Today I hit the one week mark. Hurrah! Thank God for recovery thus far, pray that it will continue to be a smooth one.

Had a review with Dr Tan this morning. He took out the bands on the front and left side on my mouth only, leaving the right side because my midline was starting to shift already. So the bands on my right side are supposed to create more pressure to pull back the lower jaw into the correct position. Haha when he was about to start, he said: "open your mouth" and I went: "urhhhh" with my teeth clenched together. Hellooo, are you playing with me, or did you forget..? 

I told Dr Tan of the blocked ears I was having, and asked him the relation between it and the surgery. He explained that during the surgery, the soft palate in my mouth was detached so he could reposition my upper jaw, and as a result, it disrupts the liquid thing in my ear, hence causing the blocked ears I'm experiencing. He was spot on in saying that the right ear feels alot more blocked than the left, because that side of my maxilla was moved quite a bit in an effort to straighten it. 

Food continues to be a difficult one. I worry of my lack of appetite as I feel tired having to continuously force myself to drink up. I hardly ever feel hungry which is not ideal I think! My throat continues to feel so sore which further impedes swallowing!

I'm gonna try making the avocado-banana milkshake today in a bid to entice my appetite. Hope it gets better!

Retrospect

Day 1 - 24 hours since the completion of the surgery, I feel drowsy all the time. Pain is subsiding to about 4/10 which is good. Swallowing poses such difficulty. Everytime I swallow, it's only about 1 ml of liquid. Yet, it's like trying to chew on a big chunk of no fat pork all at once. Could only manage 20ml of soup for the day. Time passes really slowly...

Day 2 - 48 hours post surgery sounds like a good thing to me because it means that time is not stand still :) Dr Tan finally got that tube in my nose out and I choked when he pulled it out because I didn't have enough breath to sustain. He pulled it out the same time as he said "take a deep breath", and considering my state, reaction time is at its slowest. Swelling is at it's peak and my face looks like a bloated balloon! According to Dr Tan, normally patients don't swell so far out, all the way up to the eye and temple area. Felt really nauseous twice in about an hour in the wee hours of this morning, and man, do I not want to experience that feeling again. By afternoon, I was feeling alot better, probably also because I managed to get a body shower (like, finally). Although, movement is like a quarter of my normal, and every step I take, I feel the impact of my feet on the ground up on my jaws. It's a really scary feeling. Also, I feel pulsations at the roof of my mouth. Just walking to the sink makes me pant like I've just done the 7 minute workout. Oh dear, I've got lots to do once I recover. 

Day 3 - I managed to sleep 3 hours straight! Which is a huge feat okay, considering that I've been waking every 1-2 hours in the last few days. Random tingling sensations are being felt as I slept, which I read is a sign of the nerves beginning to work again? Anyhow, it's quite an experience! I'm feeling alot more energized this day!

Day 4 - I'm ready to be discharged! But mom can't take leave to sign the papers so I have to stay another night. No complains though, because I really like the bed and constant air conditioned environment heehee. I managed to catch 6 hours sleep straight today which is amazing! If not for my neighbour who is suffering from nausea (poor ah ma), I might have clocked in more hours. My nose is no longer blocked! Hoorah! And I can breathe like a normal human being now wheeeee! I do realise that my jaws are beginning to feel really tight and to manage that, I tilted my head back a little to "stretch" it. It relieves it slightly, although I'm not sure if that's a good thing to do haha. Appetite is increasing as I manage to finish 3 packets of Ensure Plus as directed by Dr Wee; I don't get that gastric pain feeling as much anymore thank God! Oh, and did I mention that I got the tapes across my mouth and jaw/chin out already? FREEDOM!

Day 5 - Discharge day! Things are more or less the same. I feel sad that I have to leave the corner which has been with me through all the sufferings. I'm really going to miss the bed. The car ride home felt so new because every small vibration the car made or transmitted, I could feel them in my jaws! What feels everyday to my family, felt like a jaw-dropping experience to me. Literally!

D-Day.

I am feeling so excited and anxious at the same time! Can't believe that it's already tomorrow! What if I develop some complications during the surgery or the recovery period? No wait, stop it girl. Put your trust in the Lord and commit to Him everything.

Those were the thoughts that ran through my mind the night before the surgery, and even till I was in the OT. 

23 June 2014

6.30 AM - Alarm rings. I wash up like it's any other day; wake my parents up, and had a short prayer before we left the house.

7.30 AM - The car zooms out from the lot, we reach the hospital at 8.

8.30 AM - Our queue number gets called and my mom settles all the administrative matters with a trainee officer. Could see my mom getting increasingly dominant as the clock ticked.. but oh c'mon, everyone starts somewhere :) Still, I'm glad to have my mom settle all the paper work for me. I just need to plonk myself on the bed heehee!

9.15 AM - Time for the lab tests samples to be given: my pee and more blood drawn from me. Don't really know what they're testing for though hmm.

9.30 AM - The hospital porter (I didn't know they had that) brought mom and I up to the ward for more admin procedures to be done by the nurse. It was a really decent ward. No frills, plain but tastefully and warmly done. Totally my style. Mine was a 4-bedder and right next to a window. Soooo pretty :)

9.50 AM - Time to head to Dr Tan's clinic! Mom signed a indemnity form from the hospital holding herself responsible should anything happen to me outside. Our appointment was supposed to be at 10, and we really had to speedy gonzales there. 

10.05 AM - Waited for a tiny bit before being called by the clinic's nurse to go in. Saw Dr Wee and Dr Tan for the last time before the surgery. On a side note, their clinic is really nicely done. Each consultation room has a view outward towards a settlement of bungalow and terrace houses amidst rather lush foliage on a hill. A really calming view for the patient and it brings in natural light too.

10.45 AM - We leave the specialist centre and Dad, Mom and I sit at the void deck to eat breakfast. Well, excluding myself. I was just watching them eat.

12 PM - We return promptly to the hospital at 12 and I was so dying of thirst. I could feel body telling me that I was heaty and really needed water, but yet, I couldn't drink!

1.45 PM - The nurses bring my surgical gown to change into and a bed to wheel me to the OT. 

2 PM - Surgery is supposed to start, but the anesthetist is late. Dr Tan comes over to greet me with his 'hello deaaar' (rather odd, but sweet), and assure me that this was a big decision to make, but a good one at that. I had no idea why I kept tearing throughout waiting to enter into the OT. Perhaps it was the lack of familiarity in environment and I couldn't see well because I couldn't bring my glasses in. But most of all, I think I was deep down afraid of unprecedented things that could happen during the surgery. Can this be called pre-surgery depression?

2.45 PM - the anesthetist FINALLY arrives and looks at my file and asks for my weight. His speaking had this really annoying atas accent, an impression made worse by him making me wait so long >:/ I was tearing all that while :(

2.50 PM - Was wheeled into the OT and transferred myself unto the operating table. Totally went against my fantasies. I thought I was going to be lifted by brawny doctors and nurses haha! The anesthetist begins to sedate me although he was just supervising a junior staff. When she pressed the wrong spot he went: "No, not here! Hereeeee." He told me that the table had a bed warmer installed so I'd be toasty warm and i replied "Oh, cool." My head began to feel so heavy and I knew that the drug was taking effect. It was like the gravity pull on my head was 5 times heavier just on my head, and at the same time, I felt like blood was rushing away from my head. 

6.15 PM - Dr Tan called my mom to inform that the operation was successful. 

7.30 PM - Dad, mom and sis arrived at the ward to see my bloody state (as I look at the pictures my mom took). I remember continuously drifting in and out of sleep and the nurse asking how much pain I felt on a scale of 10. I signaled to her 5-6/10. That night, I woke up countless times because I couldn't breathe and kept wanting to suction all that bloody gunk out. My throat was so hoarse, partly from the tubing inserted during surgery and my continuously breathing from my mouth. I saw my mom sleep over and having to wake up each time I did, to observe the nurse help me and be on standby for any more help needed. I felt so bad that she didn't have a good posture for sleep - she was sleeping cramped up on two chairs.

Recount to be continued..

Pre-Op Visit to Orthodontist & Surgeons

Hello, it's been a really long while since I last posted. Sorry I didn't keep to my monthly postings :(

As I write this, my bones are trying to heal... yup, I've been for the surgery and am back home already. So these posts are going to be in retrospect.

While my surgery was initially projected to be in August, the orthodontist, Dr Cheng, gave the green light for the surgery to proceed during my visit in end May, since my teeth were ready already. What he meant by 'ready' was that my incisors were straight enough for the surgeons to know how to position my jaws together during the surgery. Yay! I was so happy that it could be done earlier because I had to much wanted to start working as early as possible (instead of bumming around at home - human nature). 

So after that visit in May, I was to return to his clinic for the last pre-op visit in early June, where he would collect two sets of mould for the surgeons and take some x-rays. If you would look at the picture below, the braces look really unorthodox haha. Thin metal wires replaced the coloured bands and those 'T' hooks between every tooth was installed (with much force). 

Everything silver!

With my two sets of moulds in hand, I gladly marched into the surgeon's clinic, where Dr Tan had a last look at me while Dr Wee (the assisting surgeon) took down the measurements for my face. Only then did I realise that my face was really longer on one side than the other. I'm not being nit picky on facial asymmetries (for that is what humanizes us) but mine seemed quite serious (to me at least haha). If you'd look closely at the picture on above, the right side of my face shows more gum on the upper when i smile. I don't know the term for it, but I will find out. So that's my maxillofacial problem, so to speak, in addition to my crossbite.

I had one last consultation with Dr Tan and Dr Wee on the day of surgery (only because I was overseas the week before). They ran me through the  things I would be experiencing in no less than 24 hours - post surgery depression, difficulty breathing and swallowing, weakness, uncomfortableness factor x10 (as per Dr Wee's lingo haha). Many more.

As with any surgery, I had to fast 8 hours before the surgery. I felt it so difficult, especially when I saw my dad buy some of my favourite teh from the hawker centre. Sigh. It really worried me because if I couldn't handle this, how would I handle the initial days of recovery? Thank God it's been well so far. 

4th & 5th Visit

Hello! I am uber late in my monthly posting once again :/ Will need to do something about that. Heeh.

Just came back from my 5th visit today. But before that, just a quick update on the previous visit:

Dr Cheng changed my wires to 'copper-18 and copper-20'. No idea what it means (and I hope that I've spelled it correctly, if not please do pardon). Anyway, it was a thicker wire. HAHAHA yey! Some pain! Finallyyy, after another month of wait. :3 The colour of the bands also has a story. Here's another case of colour distortion under the dentist's light: I went there determined to try the dark blue shade. But after having seeing the range of colours, I saw this shade which looked like teal to me. And me being me, liking the colours of in-between, chose it. But alas, the colour turned out to be light blue haha. Oh well, it wasn't so bad - the colour is actually very pretty. Because, it's not exactly a very light shade of blue, so it tones down a bit as the weeks pass by, turning it a bit greenish. Ageing with time: I love concepts like these. In the end, I did get my wish for a teal colour! Sort of.

Anyhoo, Here's the picture taken at the end of the 30-day cycle (which is today).

Above: May not be so clear in the photo, but the bands are actually twisted for two pre-molars on the lower left jaw - I think it was to add more force to rotate the tooth.

So for today's visit, I know for sure at least one of the wire was changed. He asked for 'copper upper' -- MY GOODNESS I AM DYING TO KNOW WHAT THOSE THINGS MEAN even if it didn't really concern me. Uhhm, well the wire for my lower jaw is a lot thicker and more painful. But what's new for this visit is that he put a band on my upper left row, pulling the canine tooth towards the back. Yep, because there is a gap between the canine and pre-molar of my tooth since the visit with the purple band across my 4 front teeth. And I didn't notice it until i got home. No wonder I kept feeling this really strong force on the tooth, one that has not been felt since the first put on my braces. MUAHAHAHA so exhilarating.

Above: TADAA can you see the extra translucent band? keke~

And I also want to mention that I'm already eating all the food I once told myself I wouldn't, before I had braces on. Foods like bread, chocolates, my favourite teh-peng, etc. Not that it's anything bad for braces, but that I initially just didn't want additional trouble cleaning the nooks of the braces. But in the end, I think I couldn't take laying off them and c'mon man, what's cleaning when food just keeps enchanting you to it! Ohhh :/

That's all for this month. Farewell! And till next time, be well!

3rd Visit

Hello! It's been a while since I last posted.. Been rather busy with school lately, but a can't ignore the procrastination part of it too, well...

Anyhow, just for a quick update: I've gone back for the 2nd tightening session just last tuesday (that's 3 days ago). Well, I don't know if it's called tightening, because Dr Cheng only changed the coloured bands... I have to admit that I was a tad bit disappointed, because I was totally excited and looking forward to the whole I-can't-eat-OW-it-hurts-to-chew-OWWWW experience... Is this normal??

And here's the evidence of the visit to the clinic!

Changed the bands to red, totally in the mood for CNY haha!
By the way, look at how my teeth shifted from the time of the purple bands! Just AMAZING how God created our teeth that could shift!

Well, if you don't remember how gap-ish my teeth were, take a look at the clay model that the clinic gave me:

From the side views, you can really see how my skeletal structure is. Anyway, the open bite (is that what you call it??) thing is even more obvious now than before braces, because my teeth are straighter now.

That's all I have to update! A load off my mind (finally!). See - oops, I mean type -  y'all again soon!